I usually get tired of listening to people give some sort of inspirational bullshit talk about standing out, except this time I’m that person. Recently I was let go from a job. This job accounted for roughly 70% of my monthly income. I loved that job. Not for the money (although it was nice), but because in less than a year there I heard from more people “you’ve helped me change my life” than any other time as a coach. And hearing that changed my life. It reminded me why I became a trainer and what it’s all about in my job. But when I was let go I heard something else before leaving. A few things actually. “You don’t fit in.” “Not the right fit.” “You don’t fit the mold.” I’m tough guy, but that was hard to hear and this is why.
My whole life I’ve never fit in. I was always too loud, too rambunctious, too opinionated, stubborn, impulsive, and willful. I was too much for people to handle, and most people had no issue letting me know it. Years went by and I learned to wrangle in how I acted (somewhat), but sooner or later it came out. “You’re too loud.” “You’re too aggressive.” “People don’t want that.” Every time I found myself fighting to save face in the end and pretending I could fit in, but it was always too little too late. I would try to contain whom I really am inside, but eventually it would come out.
Too many stupid inspirational posts have talked about never tying to hide who you really are inside and I am at the point where although I’ve always agreed, it’s finally time to do things my way. Losing this job has been hard, but what’s harder is going through the motions as someone other than you. I am an enormous proponent of people being whom they truly are inside. (Unless who you are hurts other people or is somehow detracting to the progression of society. In that case fuck you) It’s time for me to coach people my way, train people my way, and enjoy what I do again without being dictated by someone else’s mold.
The fact of the matter is that if you spend your time to trying to blend in no one is going to notice you. To be successful you have to be seen. It has become more and more apparent to me as time has gone by that I am not meant to fit in. I’m okay with that. I’m meant to be an outsider. I may not have my plans laid out yet, but I can guarantee two things: 1. They are going to be my way. 2. There’s going to be no need to “fit in.”